i wish i am in a nightmare now.

so that, tomorrow morning, when i wake up, ill become someone i would like to be.
someone that study so hard, that his first paper is just 4 day to come.
that the next week, he is going to have 2 paper on the monday and still have 3 more paper after that.

i hope, when i wake up, my mind will stop thinking about sex because in my dream right now, all the thing that i can think of is about getting laid.

i hope that the next morning, i am actually dont have stuff like gayromeo, manjam, grindr, boyahoy, and everything.
that the next day, i will start fresh and new and cant rmmber anything about my nightmare.
that ill start do stuff like jogging and running, and swimming and working out.

i hope that the next morning, ill b the guy that people will like. that everyone will say hi to me, talk to me, not because they want something from me, but just talk.

i hope that the next morning, i can be myself again. that ill lose all the very low self-worth thing. that ill have all the self-esteem and believe in myself that i know, i can do this and that. that i have this believe that, im going to be alright and ill succeed this.

i hope that, ill be a better person. like, i dont smoke, i dont drinks, i dont do drugs and i dont do sex with random people. i hope that ill forget how cool is it to smoke, ill forget how fun is it on drug and how great is it to have sex. i hope that i know nothing about this stuff.

above all, i hope that the next morning when i wake up - i will wake up strong and start to accept of who i am.


sincerely,
mr. indenial.